Sta.sh
In order to be brought back as I was, I was told that they would have to create an identical body. They said that if she could overcome all temptation she would get to keep it, but she didn't. She abused the body. Thus dying leaving the path clear for me.
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I remember your face as if it were yesterday. I remember the contours of your body, the smell of your hair and the scars on your arms. I remember the necklace you gave me, a necklace that is now a permanent scar. A necklace so faint that it passes as a birth mark. But I know what it is, and I know that you will too. When you see it.
Walking into the school, I fight down the pain in my chest. A pain that I had been told to call panic. I walk past students, all who notice me. A girl in black jeans, red silk top and knee high boots. A girl with hair a shade in between black and blue, hair that looks purple in the sun. Hair that looks red in the night. Hair of a demon. They all stare, wondering who I was and why I was there. I just kept walking.
I didn't walk to the office building, I'd been signed in the day before, I walked in the direction I knew you were. In the darkest room of the school, in this case, the dark room. I remember how you love the night, even at day you would escape to a sealed room with no windows just to watch the oily blackness that you so loved. I remember.
You walk into the dark room, shock and stubbornness crossing your finely chiseled features. You stand at the door, wondering who this creature before you is. I move, making you remember that I live, you open your mouth as if to talk. You open your mouth as if to breath.
I stand up, losing my balance all the while. I fall, unable to gain balance. You catch me, holding me upright by the waist. Looking into your eyes I see recognition. I see pain. You release me, allowing me to collapse onto the ground. Realising what you had done, you fell on me. Holding me to your chest. Kissing my head again and again in recognition and apology. You kiss me, each time getting closer to my lips.
Our lips connect, pain zaps through my veins as we kiss. My body starts to shut down, my eyes lose focus and you scream my name again.
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I'm not that good with writing critique, but I'll try
Your spelling style is very good, it gives the reader a good view of the feelings of the protagonist. I like it that we don't know exactly what the prota is, what the backstory is. At this point, the backstory seems pretty important and I'm desperate to know more about it
I guess I found one mistake.
I remember how you love the might,...
I'm not sure if you really mean might or if it was a mistake and you mean night. In my opinion, night would definitely fit better.
So, hm, I don't know what else to say but: Please go on with this story!
I hope I could help you in any way
Jay
Such positive feedback. So sweet.