Your a drug and I'm addicted
Your too far away and I'm afflicted
Your on my mind and I'm wishing for you
Your a drug and I'm addicted
Fear InsideAt night I dream,
Nightmares not able to wake from,
At night I dream,
Of loss and pain,
At night I dream,
That one day soon I will not wake
Inside The Thoughts Of A Shutterbox GirlNot sure if I'm living to die or dying to live,
Illness is around nearly every corner,
Always in pain but will never tell,
Uncertain about what tomorrow will tell,
Running from nightmares long since lived,
Scared to lose what is left,
Wanting to forever be loved by only one,
Death is one of my last fears
Something sacred sealed with a ring,
Petal covered floors,
Vows said to each other with witnesses to observe,
Her hero pinned up in black and white,
Her husband for all the days left in their lives
FalseSettle into the coldness that is life,
With no love, no hate, no spite,
A world within a dreamscape,
One dreamed up inside your head,
Victimised and left behind,
All your horrors revived inside,
Your last wants to never feel,
Not life if left dreaming,
Life only if left living
WakingI was sitting,
Waiting for you,
Ceilings high covered in vines,
Dress torn and covered in ash,
The war outside raging,
Bombs shaking the foundations,
Gunshots ringing through the air,
Dried blood signs of once dead,
Groans and moans of the injured shatter my silence,
Marching past ignoring me,
I was sitting,
Waiting for you,
Torn dress of lace bunched up to my knees,
Boots scuffed and ripped,
You walk to me,
Lift me in your arms,
My ThorGentle touch of your hand on my arm,
Simple brush of your fingers on my neck,
Your lips on mine forever lingering,
You pulling me from the dark,
Making light take shape and form,
Taking me out of my horror,
Shielding me from all harm,
Protecting what you have claimed as yours,
I am forever yours,
You, forever mine
BeginningWalking through these dark halls,
Layers of lace and silk falling,
Rivers of white and red,
Colors of pain and desperation,
No doors or windows,
Nothing to show time,
These nightmares all that is left
Losing site, Finding MightTake a tiny step from the path,
Find your light and your dark,
Make the world your oyster,
Turn it into soft clay,
Work your way from the bottom,
Make your time worth while,
Put effort into your passions,
Make love like there is no tomorrow,
Question all and nothing,
Fall in love all over again with the same person,
Never give into the cruelty of humanity,
You are unique,
Live your life how you want
Words Are Powerful ThingsYou’re so angry
You let words swarm up inside.
Screaming to get out.
They yell and shout.
They sit there,
Turning into horrid things that should never be even whispered,
In the softest tone.
You get so angry
Cause you’re so afraid.
Like so many other people
You let your fear burst into rage.
The monstrous words inside of you
Refuse to remain in their cages.
You let those words escape your lips,
All of the sudden you feel like your words have killed someone.
As you see their face.
Words are suddenly bullets.
They’ve pierced your victim’s heart.
Fragments of a once pretty, friendship scatter on the floor.
The pieces so broken, I doubt you could find all of the shards to make it whole again.
There’s a slamming of a door.
Whether that be real,
Or just a metaphor.
To say you’ve been locked out,
From this once dear friend of yours.
I hope one day.
You’ll find better words
To form a key.
So you can find your way back to them.
I am LostMy thoughts are orcas
Trapped in bathtubs.
Within microcosms -
Stuck, glued tight,
Melting like Dali's clock,
In a cock fight
With my conscience.
Sometimes I forget
All that regret
Burning through -
A pain so forever
That I hardly ever
Feel it anymore.
A cut so deep and quick
That it stops -
Time is static -
Before it bleeds.
Fluttering in the wind.
So much to see.
My heart is vacant,
My lungs made of lead
And both are my enemies
Because I'd rather be dead.
But no I wouldn't.
I'm fake, made of a paper -
A corporate rock whore -
And I don't know
What I stand for.
But maybe I don't have to
Stand for anything -
A word without a definition
Still leaves a mark
On pure paper.
A meaningless spark
Can still become a fire.
A tickle of love
Can still become desire.
untitledthere are a thousand
unwritten love letters in your eyes
now I keep thinking about
and the color green
all I know is that
my skull's been
warriors traversing well worn paths
boots leaving tracks across
chests and necks
and it's comfortable
it's not like drowning
more like slowly lowering
into hot bathwater
and we are just skin and cosmos
bodies and words
our tongues landlocked
we are adrift in
our own little sea
we've plucked our wings
and now we can't fly
tell me the truth
that the sky's overrated
I'd rather be with you
on the ground
or buried beneath it
skeletons entwined truthfully
I've always thought heaven was
a pretty sort of lie
but I've read a book or two
or people's idea of it
and I disagree with myself
popping thought balloons
on the idea that heaven
is in the way your eyes
fold origami swans when you smile
that shitty laugh
that hollow above your heart
like your chest's caving i
Happy Songs on the RadioI don't write about happy things.
I don't listen to songs about romance.
I can't feel what the artist is singing so passionately about.
The longing to know what it's like makes me want to scream and shout.
The way people write and lace words together,
About how happy and perfect they see the world.
Has always been a stranger to me.
I wish I could see,
The way you did.
I really do.
I wish I could feel the same way as you.
To be able to hear the lyrics,
'I love you'
And picture someone to match those three words.
I wish I could hear these songs,
About how everything is perfect.
Absolutely nothing is wrong.
But I can't.
I hear those songs and I feel empty.
Because I can't feel what they're saying.
And I keep listening,
But I am just wasting my time
Trying but failing to relate.
When I hear the songs on the radio.
They make me squirm in my seat.
I feel happy but sad.
Something so bitter sweet.
Because part of me feels so happy for the person.
Who sings so happily.
But another, darker half.
When the Sun RisesI miss the way you used to be.
I miss the way you'd smile at me.
How the joy would make the corners of your eyes crinkle.
You'd laugh softly.
Shaking your head,
I miss that.
How real it sounded.
I listened to you now,
And that old little light melody of laughter is no where to be found.
You still laugh
But your smile doesn't quite reach your eyes.
I don't think I've ever met someone with such sad,
As you look upon yourself
And you can't help but despise what you see.
You used to walk,
With your head held high.
You don't anymore
You keep them glued to the floor.
Scared to acknowledge your train wreck of a life
That lays before you.
I still think you're beautiful though.
Even if you're growing faint
Like a sunset,
Falling into the darkness of the night.
With each slowly fading ray of light.
You're still perfect, and make people stop and stare in awe.
But just like the sun sets.
And you get pulled under into the dark of the night.
When all of your light is gone
remember,when i was your lioness and
we ruled the world with
scattered light and
after all this time, i
still stay up late thinking of you,
pinching myself awake to keep the image of you in my head
until i hear you sing me to sleep.
we all have our demons, i was always yours.
waking up with bruises on my arms in an empty bed,
the devil inside of me whispers that it's not over yet, and
he pumps turbulence from my carved open heart into my saltwater blood
i feel every half-healed scar split op
en to bleed yet again.
wanting you is wanting the safety of the stars
when i'm already in free fall (into the grave).
my siren, i was born to die but you loved me into a phoenix.